I’ve been puked on.

It is 1:21 am.
This is not how I pictured writing my second entry. I was thinking it was going to be more hipster-cool mom. Sitting at my minimalist ikea desk, sipping some oregon chai out of my vintage strawberry shortcake mug, clacking away on my typewriter… Ok, maybe not that last one.

I did not think I was going to be sitting in the recliner at my mother in laws house (by the way my MIL is amazing. I’m sure I’ll touch on that at some point) rocking my congested, teething, vomitus five month old.
But what could be more inspiring than a sick, snotty, cranky baby? Well tonight, nothing. This is it people. The real deal.

[This is where my newbie blogger skills have failed me, I tried to add my picture here but it’s showing up on the bottom. Oh well.]

This is parenting at its finest. Actually this is mediocre, run o’the mill parenting. It could be a whole heap worse than being awake at 1:43 am (and it could be a whole heap better).
If you’re not prepared willing to clean up a pukey baby before you even remove your bile soaked shirt, or stay up until unholy hours of the night and/or morning rocking the afore mentioned Pukey McPukerton, don’t have kids.

A few days ago Averie asked me why vomit was called vomit and of course I know exactly why have no idea why it’s called what it is, but we started thinking of all the names we know for it.
Puke
Ralph
Barf
Up-chuck
Spew
Spit up

What did we miss?
Someone please tell me a good “I got barfed on story”.
I think I’ll have a budding blog barf story contest. Winner gets an “I got barfed on” shirt. No idea what that looks like but I’ll make it happen.
Tell yah friends.

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7 thoughts on “I’ve been puked on.

  1. Oh dear Meghan! I have got the bestest “I got puked on” stories! Shelbaroo was a barber from 1 day old till about 3, due to a weird spinker thing! From barfing all over my plate and face at a restaurant right after dinner was served and as she looked at me smiling my date simply got up and left, to running down the stairs with her knowing it was coming and it splatters all over the living room (and yes it hit my further in-laws) and slid accross the kitchen thinking crap she missed the bowl! It’s a wonderful feeling really! Good for your skin I’m sure!

  2. I had a puke exactly like that on a pink t-shirt when Chloe was about his age. Looks too familiar. Thankfully my kids aren’t sick often so it’s few and far between that I get puked.

  3. Hmmm, I don’t know about the best… but I can come up with something! Paige, who is now 7, was maybe 1 months old. My dear husband lovingly got up to feed Paige in the middle of the night. I had just dropped off back to sleep when DH yells up the stairs to me to “get down here!” I jump out of bed and rush down the stairs to find DH with a gasping Paige. He promptly hands her off to me and rushes upstairs to bed. Ok. Paige had had some milk go down the wrong pipe and was kinda choking. She coughed/threw up all down my front.

    Good times. But I just thought of another more recent one. We had company over and we were watching a movie together. I was laying on the couch with my head on my husbands lap. Paige, age 6, walks up to me and says her tummy doesn’t feel good. Like she might throw up. I just start to sit up and say let’s get to the bathroom when she spews all over me. Shoulder to hip. In the hair. I freeze to wait for DH to get me half washed off and I go and just walk into the shower completely clothed. It was so nasty. Needless to say it cleared the company out of the house! 🙂

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