A journal entry for Averie

*forgive the spelling mistakes and grammatical flubs. I wrote this last night on my phone in the notes section because I’ve been so bad about taking time to sit and write. This seemed easier.*

Averie.
So sweet Averie,

I took all your clothes and toys away. Yep. I did.
Katey and Anna came over to play on Monday and we busted out the bean box. I even dumped a crap load of new peas in there for you to mess with but my warnings about picking up all the beans that got sprayed around went unheard. Both you and zoey were dumping them all over the floor and when it came time to pick them up you both threw royal fits.

YOU clean it up mom. I just can’t do this. I’m too little and I don’t know how to!

The attitudes from both of you were just sooooo ungrateful and entitled. They’re beans for the love of Pete! All you have to do is swipe them into a pile and put them back in the box. I even said that I would vacuum the rice bits that got left behind.
But you guys huffed and puffed for like an hour. I got fed up. We went in the bedroom and I had you put all your stuffed animals and babies from behind the door in the zoo into plastic garbage bags. We got FIVE BAGS of that junk! Then I took all the clothes out of your dresser and all the shoes and all the coats.
I left you both with one pair of long pants, one pair of shorts, one t shirt, one long sleeved t shirt, two pairs of jammies and all your socks and undies.
I turned your kitchen around and covered it with a sheet. I put all your costumes into a bag and put big tape X’s on all the cubes in your expedit unit that I couldn’t physically empty.
I know that your attitudes are mostly my fault. I LOVE buying you guys clothes that look cute. Cute coordinated outfits on you guys are fun for me to shop for and it makes me look good as a parent. I want you to have a ton of fashionable clothes and shoes. I want you to have all the toys you could ever want to play with. Good ones too. Not just cheap garbage from Walmart. I want to make barbie clothes up the yin yang so that you guys can have cute barbie time. But you have absolutely no idea how to appreciate or take care of the things you are BLESSED with.
My clothes were rarely coordinated and often times second hand. My toys were not taken care of and I lost most of the pieces. I had terrible habits with cleanliness and organization as a kid. I think it wore my mom out. I think she got tired of nagging me to clean my junk up and she just let me live in my filth. I had a great childhood but I know that had it been at least a little more in order I wouldn’t feel so much chaos now.
I want you guys to respect the things you have. I want us to learn together how to put our stuff away as we go and not wait until a humongous pile of stuff has accumulated to deal with our day to day.
I have to learn this with you. I know one of these days you’re going to ask why I make you put away your clothes but my room is messy. I have to get better too. Grrrr.
So it’s been a few days since you lost your stuff. The first day was still pretty rough as far as your attitude was concerned (and zoey too. She just keeps bullying you and she has taken up spitting like a llama when she gets pissed. It’s frustrating to say the least.) you didn’t much care that you didn’t have anything to wear or play with. I think partially it was sort of nice to purge all the excess out of your control. The next day was better. I asked you what you wanted to earn back. You picked your peacock dressy dress and your brown and purple flats from gamma. So the day went pretty well. You had a bit of reminding but you did well and you got it back. You were proud to tell Emily and Susan that you earned the dress back. I thought that was pretty cool. Since then you’ve gotten a swim suit, a pair of pajamas, a pair of shorts and your big baby back.
I think this is working out nicely. Unfortunately it means that the living room is going to be sort of a mess for a while. But that’s alright. Reminding you to keep a happy attitude and a tidy space is going ok. I hope that it continues to go this well. I want you to have your stuff back. I want you to be blessed more that you understand but i want you to take care of yourself and your belongings.
Now I just have to figure out how to foster a relationship between you and zoey that equals best friend status. It would be so much easier if she would just stop being a punk!
I love you Averie Kate. Soooooo much. I hope you know that and you never for a second (even when I’m being a mean mommy and I’m angrily shoving all your toys and clothes into garbage bags or yanking you by the arm out of some stupid boys car) forget or doubt that.

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